Sunday, March 17, 2013

DVD Review: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

As always, my watching of the Twilight series is aided and abetted by Rifftrax. Remember, The Seven love Rifftrax, and so should you.

Breaking Dawn Part 2 is, without doubt, the most entertaining of the Twilight franchise. Not the best (the horror involved in trying to determine what one of these is objectively the best would probably drive me insane, so I’m gonna skip over that question). But despite being an objectively terrible movie on essentially every conceivable level, Breaking Dawn Part 2 is unquestionably extremely entertaining. Because of how completely insane the whole thing is, best defined by the moment where Bella FULL BODY TACKLES A MOUNTAIN LION!

This aspect, more than anything else about the movie, makes it hilarious to watch. Because of how proudly and devotedly terrible it is, because of how it blows up all to insane proportions and lets it all hang there for you to see. The rampant misogyny, the Mary Sue-ism inherent in Bella’s character, the focus on Bella and Edward over still clichéd, but vastly more interesting characters, Michael Sheen’s HYSTERICALLY over the top performance, the horrible direction and special effects, the awful screenplay, all of it is ramped up to 11. And the result is a teetering train wreck of a movie that is hilarious to watch.

By now, all of you have heard of the hilarious anti-climax in the book (in which the bad guys show up, are told their issue is a misunderstanding and then leave) and how the movie manages to make it worse (how the movie decides to include a huge action sequences in which multiple characters are killed, only to reveal that it was all a dream and go with the anti-climax) but even having heard about it, the shock at the scene and the way they go about is jaw dropping, because without the copout, the ending would be legitimately awesome.

So ends the Twilight saga, not with a bang but with a whimper. And yet, as I look back over the saga and the way it altered the pop culture landscape, and my own arc of hating it, to being sick of it, to just being tired of the whole thing, backlash and all, I can almost say that in a weird, sadistic way I’m going to miss it. It was a uniting force in a way I’ve never seen in my life. Everyone outside of it’s fanbase, from highbrow critics to the average movie goer was united in our various flavors of disdain for the franchise. Not even Nickleback could achieve that. And even beyond that, Twilight spilled over into other things. Female targeted genre fiction exploded in a big way, and while a large portion of it was terrible, it’s slowly gaining ground into respectability (call me when a Tamora Pierce adaptation gets greenlit). Even in my own life the Rifftrax of all 5 movies remain some of their best work, and are largely responsible for me being as into Rifftrax as I am, as well as my returning to Mystery Science Theater 3000.

But the long lasting culture impact of Twilight could be an article (or several) on it’s own and would have to be written by someone much smarter than me. As for Breaking Dawn Part 2…well it is an unmitigated disaster, a complete failure as a movie. But…if you’re into pointing and laughing and someone’s pathetic failure to make a working movie...well let’s just say this’ll work. It is one of the biggest and most hilarious failures to come out of Mainstream Hollywood in a long while.

Elessar is a 23 year old Alaskan born cinephile and he wonders why the franchise wasn’t about the lesbian Brazilian vampires.

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